running on 3 hours of sleep a day, feels like i'm putting in so much but it's not my best. but it's actually quite fun, getting over the initial frustration at the extremely large amount of homework and lack of ability to comprehend vectors and matrices (i swear i need to speak to the rg math department. GRR.) and finally finishing some portion of it at 3 am in the morning. ib's fun like that, no regrets xD

justtt wondering how on earth i'm going to get around to persuading/bluffing my mom into letting me go for hamlet on 25th and hc choir concert on 9th. omg>< i can't lie for nuts. maybe i'll try telling her it's king lear and will contribute greatly to my ib grade. D;

on another note, i'm getting increasingly bothered by some bad habits i've picked up :/ one, eating at unearthly hours, two, sleeping late and having to three, drink coffee that turns my teeth yellow, four, sleeping in class which is really awful because i've never slept in class before and learning how to sleep with my eyes open is not really a talent i'm proud of, five, swearing, six, chatting on msn, seven, unconsciously saying really mean stuff and only realising how disgusting i sound minutes later. whaddamigonnaadoooo.

and omgoshh i am so pissed about 2.4 -.- i thought i had to run one more round so i was like, jogging towards the frickin finish line D:(directions on the new route around school weren't clear i swear!), so basically i didn't speed up at all nor sprint which means i could have gone muchhh faster because my legs were barely aching even though i did lunges yesterday AHHHHH. pfffft. never mind. next year. at least i got my B but it's sooo annoying knowing that i could have gotten my A. pfft.

so it's been school, homework, eat, sleep, school, homework, eat, sleep. i could actually get used to this (: surprisingly, i'm not complaining about a lack of excitement, and neither am i really missing rg life..life's just, pretty cool.

/edit

also, QT on the book of Daniel and reading Wallace's The Lord is King: The message of Daniel reminded me once again of something i had almost lost sight of after reading Amos in dec.

Daniel 2:31-34 reads,
31 "You looked, O king, and there before you stood a large statue—an enormous, dazzling statue, awesome in appearance.
32 The head of the statue was made of pure gold, its chest and arms of silver, its belly and thighs of bronze,
33 its legs of iron, its feet partly of iron and partly of baked clay.
34 While you were watching, a rock was cut out, but not by human hands. It struck the statue on its feet of iron and clay and smashed them.

i dont accord only a political/historical significance to that colossal statue. it could stand for our little empires, social, academic, financial or ecclesiastical in the midst of which some of us sit enthroned, trying in vain to find security and satisfaction. it could stand merely for the image of our own future.

but we'll never be at peace until weve really seen and acknowledged that this empire of ours, whatever it is, must give way before the coming of the kingdom of God.

quote Wallace, "For it is because men have nothing 'high and lifted up' to raise their eyes to, nothing bigger than themselves and their own world to worship and wonder at, nothing more certain than their own ideas by which to steer their destiny.....that a life grows stale,..and frustrated.
...New life and healing can come to us only when we begin to find purpose in pursuing not our self-centred aims but the glory of God himself, when we find rest in certainties that are completely beyond the changes and chances of human history, and find that we possess righteousness and peace only when we possess them as gifts from God himself."

what is it, that i'm aiming for? it's not about sounding idealistic either, i guess it's about availing yourself, away from self pity or worry or other preoccupations like your social life (or lack of one) or studies, to listen to what He has to say.