i know i'm not good with words, and neither do i think anyone is even going to read this, but i just need to say how glad i am that concert's over. and that kindof marks the end of my chairpersonship. it's been tough, i know i haven't been the best chairperson, but i'm glad for the support the ensemble has given me. i wish i could call you 'my ensemble' because i've grown to love each and every one of you so much, but i don't know if you feel the same way about me, but i really need to say how much i like each one of you. you guys are so special, really.
i'm really looking forward to the end of school, and even though it's sad that exams and handovers are marking my days in rg, i guess that's enough for me. i want out.
to marissa and zeslene: you guys know me. i'm a unassuming person, and i don't like to spend time wondering about the meaning of life and what we're supposed to do with it while we still have it; i guess i'm not at that level yet. but at least i've figured out what really makes me happy. it's making people happy. in some sense right now i'm living for people and some people think that makes me stupid because it's not exactly a very assertive or strong basis for happiness, while others think oh wth you're such a doormat. but say what you like and think what you think, when i live for others it's my way of living for myself. every time i try to live for myself, for what i want, i end up upsetting people and that really upsets me. i hope at least you two know what makes you happy, and whatever it is, go for it! i'm behind you always.
i've been trying to live for God too, but i guess i'm failing now. i can't blame it on anyone but myself, so pray for me guys. honestly, i haven't done QT for about a month and i can't believe it myself.
& pray that my mum will allow me to go IB. it's something i struggle with every day.
ps: you know my DISC profile? i'm SI. which actually translates into 'doormat personality'. tread carefully.
