what happened to the sunshine -

I am sick of work.

But at the same time I don't want to say I can't wait for all this to end, or for all this to be over, because I know I'm gonna regret it when it eventually does.

& so I press on. and pretend/attempt to find happiness in all of this.

I just want to go stargazing with munching or walk by the sea with mari&zes (coffee in hand, maybe?) or sit on the astro at night ____. Play catching in the rain. Sing at the rooftop like no one's listening. Anything but sitting here, and staring at my laptop.

It is 2.22 am, I am not sleepy at all, but I am so sick of math port I'm just going to sleep. Andd I have this horrible feeling I'm not gonna be able to finish by Monday :/ Then again, maybe not (:
Cross fingers and toes I make it in time!
Ahhh non-stop working ftw.

Mmm cute email from Jonas, reminded me of my new year's resolution:

If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God.

Somehow it's the most meaningful email I've read this whole year. (: Thanks Jonas!
&& the bed beckons.

Okay soo I just sent in a crappy world lit but heck at least it's out of the way for now, but the work doesn't seem to have gotten any less. ):

And I've no idea why I'm typing it out here when I've my homework list everywhere:
1. Math portfolio
2. ToK presentation
3. King Lear mock IOC
4. Math worksheets
5. Bio IA 25
6. Bio worksheets
7. Econs IA
8. Bio design prac x 2
9. Log CAS for life sci and econs

Anddd guitar camp from monday to wednesday. Ahhhwells. Such is IB life ):

ROARRR.
But all the wayy, everyone (: NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE (:

i
will
finish
world lit
by tonight
or i will
drink
coffee
at
1
a
m
.
a
h
h
h
h
h
):

Omgosh it's only starting to sink in now that ssef like the REAL THING is tmr.
I really, cannot, wait, for tomorrow to be over. ((:
Let's hope I get nice judges tmr :D
Ahhhh it kinda feels like the end of IB? Like just oneee more day and it'll all be over. Just that it's not actually the end of IB :x
Ohwells kinda excited ((:
whooopeee.

and I'll leave the rest to You (:

omgosh guys, time is speeding up!

no tum no tum no tum debbie is wasting her life on ssef kkthnxbye. no tum to do anything else!!

)):

nvm HANG IN THERE GUYS THREE MORE DAYS AND WE'RE FREE. technically, 2 days. screw the public exhibition. (:

ahhlalalala.

sorry going mad already bzzz*pop!*

Thank you munching <33! ((: I really love this song ((: promise to sing it for you on your birthday!(:

(Anddd really sorry about the picture this's the only video youtube's got of the song ><)

I don't know quite how to put this decently
But what's the chance that you could love me too?

Who, who, who, who, who
Has made my dreams come true
And turned my gray sky blue?
Why it's you you you you you

sleeep/

“Studies show that the length of sleep is not what causes us to be refreshed upon waking. The key factor is the number of complete sleep cycles we enjoy. Each sleep cycle contains five distinct phases, which exhibit different brain- wave patterns. For our purposes, it suffices to say that one sleep cycle lasts an average of 90 minutes: 65 minutes of normal, or non-REM (rapid eye movement), sleep; 20 minutes of REM sleep (in which we dream); and a final 5 minutes of non-REM sleep. The REM sleep phases are shorter during earlier cycles (less than 20 minutes) and longer during later ones (more than 20 minutes). If we were to sleep completely naturally, with no alarm clocks or other sleep disturbances, we would wake up, on the average, after a multiple of 90 minutes–for example, after 4 1/2 hours, 6 hours, 7 1/2 hours, or 9 hours, but not after 7 or 8 hours, which are not multiples of 90 minutes. In the period between cycles we are not actually sleeping: it is a sort of twilight zone from which, if we are not disturbed (by light, cold, a full bladder, noise), we move into another 90-minute cycle. A person who sleeps only four cycles (6 hours) will feel more rested than someone who has slept for 8 to 10 hours but who has not been allowed to complete any one cycle because of being awakened before it was completed…. ”

Okay so if this is right, technically I can survive on 3 hours of sleep a day and maybe a 90 min nap in the evening. (: oh yay! Amazing stuffs, sleep cycles ((:

Lord I'm running out of love --

Recently I don't know what I'm doing anymore.

I feel so...young. and immature. Letting laziness rule my life and my friendships. Becoming so bothered by what others think of me. Not trying hard enough to be a better friend.

It's just that being a good friend to so many people is tiring, and cynicism is creeping back up on me and making me wonder if I'm really helping anyone or is it just me making myself feel loved/liked.

And work is just, blah. Can't ever seem to get it right, or right enough for that matter. I have this mentality right now that doing your best is enough and there's really no need to be so kiasu/perfectionist but maybe this is me resting on my laurels, maybe this is me getting complacent. But still, makes me wonder, is best ever enough?

But there have also been those spurts of joy, and I thank you for that (you as in, more than one person.:)).

Andddd I really need to get started on ToK OP SO BRENDA DO NOT FEAR, DEBBIEE IS HEREE! (: REST WELL GIRL, I'M COMING TO SEE YOU SOOOON! (: & I promise I'll try not to screw up the OP again ):

/edit
I wanted to say work is killing me someone kill me quickquick kill me quickquick before work does. But NOO instead I will say DIEE moronic homework PRESS ON GUYS PRESS ON! (: and smile!((:

Sorry ToK does weird things to your brain. You start thinking you are a warrior with a sword out to conquer Homework. );