I don't understand why it is the girl's fault if a guy likes a girl and the girl is totally neutral now but wants to keep her options open/doesn't want to be so hasty in rejection/is afraid of losing a friend so tells him they should just be good friends for now. Why is it considered to be the girl 'playing' the guy? How can it be considered 'leading him on' if she's explicitly told him that she's not interested in him that way? How can a girl be blamed for 'giving him no choice' when the fact is he can go and like another girl for all she cares? Why is continuing to treat him as a good friend considered 'giving him false hope'? Why can't guys be satisfied with having a platonic relationship? Okay maybe I'm stereotyping here, so guys don't get offended, you can swop the sexes and reread this then help me out here. Plus, what if some guys are just so thick-headed they don't get it and don't give up hope and keep liking you, is it still the girl's fault in any way? What on EARTH are we supposed to do? If we're damn mean, you say we're bitches and heartless and tactless for 'totally hurting him' and 'could have at least put it in a nicer way'. If we try to do it nicely, we're 'not clear enough' and sometimes accused of 'keeping your options open but not his cos he's gonna keep liking you until you tell him clearly'. Why are we being called selfish when 1) it's not like we led them on and begged to be liked, 2) they are being selfish by putting us in this dilemma and forcing us to make a decision? Isn't it a risk they decided to take themselves? So can't we just leave the whole selfish thing out of the equation? It kind of balances out, anyway.
I mean, yeah granted, the person who's being liked probably has the upper hand, the power to decide, to make the person stop liking you. To totally snuff out all his hopes and break his heart and make him go into depression for a while and hopefully he'll bounce out of it after a while. While it's already unfair enough that you have to do this kind of awful thing to another person, fine, in retrospect you'll realise maybe you did the right thing by rejecting him after all. But is that the only way? How do you maintain a platonic relationship without giving each other 'false hope' that something's gonna come out of this friendship, but without eliminating that possibility altogether? For some people, you're quite clear that no, he/she's definitely not the one, but for others, mm not too sure. So, how?
And, what counts as 'giving the wrong signals'? What's wrong with being friendly and hanging around people that make you happy? What's wrong with showing people that you're happy around them? It's not like I flutter my eyelashes and lick my lips and twirl my hair at them?
I know I risk sounding like a total idiot with all these questions that probably have duhh answers to 'em. And maybe I risk being hated too? (but this is not a personal attack on anyone! I am genuinely confused!)
But yes, this is soo frustrating and mind boggling (for me), so at least I asked (:
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
haha. thats why i say, guys never treat girls nicely unless they like them. i'm good friends with guys, but these guys treat me as guys. as in, not that they're rough with me or what, its just that to them i'm just another one of their friends you know what i mean? but when guys are especially nice, go out of their way, or are just extra close to you, its seriously a warning sign. from my experience, platonic relationships, the kind that you want, they dont exist. but i have great platonic relationships, with some guys, and its cos to him, i'm just another guy.
its difficult to grasp but somehow thats the way things work in real life.
hey thanks for replying dear (:
mm but then what happens when you get these warning signs? is it better to distance yourself from them immediately? or does it come down to the 'why are you so nice to me?' question that is just soo awkward!
and how do you knowww for sure if a guy is treating you like just another guy! cos i thought a lot of my guy friends were (maybe slightly different cos i'm a girl and they've gotta be nicer?), but uh apparently not!
aahhh i'm damn stupid at this maoo ):
hey.. i couldnt not resist but give a guy's POV..
wells i have seen people change and become nicer, and i guess i might be one of them, But guys generally would be nicer to girls or perhaps be the ever 'gentleman' in them. Ironically very tokish reason is that some guys would see things are they are, and miss out the rest. Treating a girl like a guy in some sense is correct but of course we do not go like randomly scolding each other. I wouldnt go stereotyping, i know guys that know their limits and those who dont, but who exactly do?
I think these situation happens if the girl is alone with the guy most of the time. So i guess when you are in groups it would rarely happen. The girl should just stay in groups so that its kinda less likely to feel awkward
btw, i dun think it have treated you just like another guy and like other girls i treat you like a GIRL who was from my OG, and a friend.. heh.. duh.. cause i think after being from a boy sch, treating you like guy is just er.. weird.. but if you count the suaning and the apparent making fun off, then ok
Well hope it helps, but i guess everybody have their own ideas do they, good luck in understanding.. :) have a good rest of the year
yup, agree with kzy. if you spend a lot of alone time with the guy it tends to happen more. like you get red flash warning signs when the guy leaves a group and wants to hang out one on one kinda thing, you know what i mean. thats when you know he probably thinks of you as someone probably more than just a friend.
what i mean when i say like guys treating me as guys is like the way they treat someone they're not romantically interested in.
so like if guys sms you all the time, want to hang out with you all the time, msn-ing you all the time, (like more than 4 days a week) and talk about like the randomest stuff, you should be warned.. haha.
its okay though! i have a lot of experience with a lot of these kind of things whoohooo.
ziyang: haha thanks for replying! yay you're nice enough to help, unlike somee other guys who read this and refuse to help ): haha it's okay everyone suans me so i doubt it's got anything to do with gender hahaha. mm okay get what you mean :D
maoo: mmmmmmm oh noo okay time to be more alert! oh dear do study outings count? haha a lot people want to study with me! o.O haha ahhh darn shouldave asked you for more advice before i went into ac then! (:
Hi Colgate
This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Bye!
Post a Comment