and i waste time doing all these stupid things because i want to treasure every moment and not let it slip away.

this whole thing, about becoming conscious that time is running out fast, that no matter how hard you try to hold on to, to savour every second, it always ends so fast, whether you want to believe it or not. and those who don't believe it, even after it's ended,find that it's hard, it's so hard to believe it's over and we're back to life. the boring one. and there is this transitional state, whereby you're stuck between the two worlds and readjusting is just so damned difficult. and a part of you just doesn't want to go back at all.

it doesn't really start now. it started a long time ago, when we were kids and we cried when camps were over and we found we didn't really want to go home after all, no matter how we seemed to be wasting our lives away and no matter how lousy the programme was. when we cried because we missed the group breakfasts lunches dinners and post-camp gatherings could never suffice to bring back that feeling. it started a long time ago, when we would add everyone in our group on msn only to find a few months, a year later that it was pointless because friends had faded into acquaintances and then to, nothing.

at least we had that moment to remember. and at least we enjoyed it then.

morning is waking up
and sometimes it's more than just enough
when all that you need to love
is in front of your eyes.
it's just so hard to remember that sometimes.

so it's off to malaysia till friday for me, then i'm back to the muggerfest that is so long overdue.