THROUGH IT ALL

Lord, we want to lift Your name on high
And Lord, we want to thank You
For the works You've done in our lives
And Lord, we trust in Your unfailing love
For You alone are God eternal
Throughout earth and heaven above

So it's thirty minutes to midnight and before we know it, 2009's over. Just like that, and the year's over and I can't even say how fast everything's passed. Seriously. Whizz of colours and here we are, day 30. Or rather, day 31.

There was something my pastor said at the start of today's watchnight service, and it hit me really hard, because I realised that's probably why everything's passed so fast in my mind. "Sometimes we forget to thank God for the little blessings He gives us, and soon our forgetfulness becomes ungratefulness." And how true is this. All year I have been looking forward, so used to looking ahead, planning ahead, preparing for the next big thing. And now that the year's coming to an end, it's about time that I stop looking ahead and instead, look back. Look back at what He has done in my life, and see how He has provided. Take stock of all the times that I forgot to thank Him, forgot to see the good in things, forgot to spend time with Him because there were other things more important, forgot that His ways are higher than my ways and instead of trusting, despaired. And perhaps come 6th Jan, I will be at peace with whatever results I get because I trust in His unfailing love.

But where do I begin? I've been too used to dwelling on what went wrong, on trying to figure out why things screwed up, on trying to fix things, to make things better. I've forgotten how to count my blessings, to praise Him for the amazing things He has done and to thank Him for all the amazing people that He put in my life. But 2010 will be better. I will keep a blessing notebook! I will remember to give thanks every day for the blessings He gives me, both small and big, and I will know that I am wonderfully and richly blessed by a God who loves me (: And when I am discouraged, I will remember how He has given me so much, and I will know that He is sufficient for me.

Today during service when we were singing, this feeling of immense joy and gratitude just overwhelmed me and I almost cried because when I was singing I remembered all the good times and the bad times this year, it was like pictures of 2009 were running like a slideshow through my head. And in the bad times, I remembered how He always put someone there to comfort me; I was never alone. He provided then, He provides now, and He will provide in the year to come.

2010 will be hard. Haha there's no shadow of a doubt that it'll be tough. Dealing with results results results. IB results, interview results. Things that I tend to associate my worth with. :\ Then there's the juggling between 2 jobs, and trying to get in as many activities in the months before interviews. Relief teaching by itself is gonna be just crazy. But I'm up for the challenge (: And I know I'm gonna need sooo much wisdom trying to figure out these fifteen year olds.

But I'm not complaining. (: I'm kinda excited to see how these new experiences are gonna change me and shape me, and perhaps if I'm lucky, I'll get to change someone's life (: Inspire a student to study hard. Bring someone to Christ. Orrrr something. Whatever it is, whatever all of us may face in this new year, God promises grace and strength, soo trust not our own strength and power, and rely on His promise always!

Usher in 2010, it's gonna be a blast. And even as we move on from here, as we see all these radical changes in our lives, in the friends we talk to, in the environment we find ourselves, let us always be grounded in Christ. Let us also always remember the friends that stood by us this year, and never let these friendships fade out. Perhaps we won't get the chance to talk to each other that much, and perhaps we may be forgotten over time. And sometimes I guess it does seem like some friends have an expiry date. But to the friends I love and have kept till now, I know it's hard and I'm bad at keeping friendships especially when I get busy, but let's try to keep it going somehow (: May our friendship never ever ever expire okay!

Have a blessed new year everyone <3


Lord, make me what you will.
I put myself fully into your hands:
put me to doing, put me to suffering,
let me be employed for you, or laid aside for you;
let me be full, let me be empty,
let me have all things, let me have nothing.
I freely and with a willing heart give it all to your pleasure and disposal.